In the 10 years that have passed since Gretchen Wiener spieled the famous one liner, “Ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean, that’s just, like, the rules of feminism”, it seems women have forgotten the simple rules of feminism.
Like that of Lindsay Lohan’s acting career, the days where ex-boyfriends or even current boyfriends are deemed off limits are over. Instead, our set of unspoken rules has been erased and replaced by a new breed of opportunistic and sexually aggressive women. Thanks to that little thing called social media (yes Snapchat I’m looking at you) temptation is literally within hand’s reach – or should I say fingertips. It is inevitable that our partners are going to stumble across a few ‘tanning’ selfies in which breasts are the intentional focus of the photo and we’ve come to terms with that. After all, it’s the 2016 world we live in. But what I cannot come to terms with, what still blows my somewhat open mind is women considering men in relationships fair game.
Like Cat and Lawson from Big Brother; their controversial romance has played out for the whole of Australia to see over a few weeks; including Lawson’s long-term girlfriend. I won’t even try to imagine how it would feel to watch your boyfriend making out with another woman on national television. I think a fellow Big Brother contestant summed it up when he said, “If I was Lawson’s girlfriend, I’d be barging through these double doors and dragging him out of the house.”
Cat was fully aware that Lawson had a girlfriend. He even said multiple times, “I have a girlfriend.” Leading up to their big kiss in the bathtub, his hesitance towards her feelings for him were obvious but she kept on with the neck massages and unnecessary ‘friendship’ hugs. Now they engage in not so subtle, underneath the doona activities – Geordie Shore style.
She knew what she wanted and whilst she put on a good act initially of respecting their relationship, it was her active pursuit of Lawson that ultimately led to his infidelity. Which has me questioning, what ever happened to girl code?
Sadly you don’t need to be on a reality show for infidelity to be a reality. I’m sure most women can relate to what Lawson’s girlfriend is going through; the shame, the embarrassment, the questioning of your own self worth… I know I can, thanks to the actions of a certain ‘friend’ of mine a few years ago.
We were young, too young for it to truly matter. But she was my friend. I still see this person engaging in questionable behaviour with ex boyfriends and more importantly current boyfriends. The fact that she never learnt from the pain she caused me, not to mention the demise of our friendship, makes the betrayal still somewhat real – in the ability to trust my partner, but more so in the inability for me to trust any female. Especially the ones that ‘Like’ my boyfriend’s Instagram photos.
It is always easier to blame the female. I’ve done it. The matter of the fact is that any guy that engages in infidelity is just as guilty as the woman he cheated with. But to quote Chris Rock, which I promise to never do again, “A man is only as faithful as his options.” So if his options are a constant stream of willing women, how many do you think it would take before your partner started to consider this whole commitment thing?
We are our own worst enemies. Opportunistic women are not only ruining relationships, but they are changing the workings of society. What chance does commitment truly have when it is being tested at every late night text message or slutty Snapchat? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
This is why we need a universal girl code like that of our male counterparts ‘bros before hoes’. To be reminded of the rules of feminism but also to empower each other’s relationships instead of snaking in the shadows hoping for its break down. Because at the end of the day, if you’re willing to break up someone’s relationship, who says someone won’t be willing to do the same to you?
If Carrie Bradshaw can realise the harm she caused through her affair with a very married Mr Big, surely women today can follow in her Manolo Blahnik footsteps.
It’s simple. If he’s someone else’s, he’s not yours. If he has history with someone you care about, he has no future with you. Please remember this ladies next time you’ve had four glasses of Sav and are feeling a little lonely.
P.S Karma is bitchier than the girl whose boyfriend you stole
Written By Lindsay Bennett.